Movies to miss in April

Wow. A nice portion of the spectrum of craptitude is pretty much covered this month.

We've got ourselves a wretched sequel, a sure-to-be terrible teen "horror" flick and even a little gem from one of the worst directors in the business. I can hardly wait to mock!

Alien vs. Predator- Requiem: What do you get when you cross an already bad cross-over picture with a less competent team than the first go-round? For your answer, see AVP-Requiem. Or better yet, don't see it. The promise of moving the series from the silly PG-13 rating up to an appropriate R is totally wasted when a slew of faceless, stereotyped bumpkins find their home town to be the breeding ground of an epic (read: horribly shot) battle between warring alien species.

In the Name of the King- A Dungeon Siege Tale: Yaaay! It's quite possibly the last Uwe Boll piece of crap we'll ever see make it to theaters. If there is a higher power, the folk who actually watch this garbage are proof the guy has a sense of humor. That, or the fact these movies exist are a kickback to his more wrathful days.

Prom Night- Speaking of a second rate horror movie (see AVP-R), this one doesn't even manage to scare up enough reason to grace the final product with an R rating. A baseball cap wearing psycho teacher stalks his purdy students on the most specialest night of the year. I'd rather attend the real thing at my current age than sit through this, thanks.