Movie of da week: Rambo

This is a slow week for movies. In my book, anyway. Since you're reading this, I'm guessing my book counts for something in your mind. That being the case, here we go with another weekly recommendation.

Before we begin, I'd like to apologize to anyone who went out and saw Indiana Jones based off my say last week. (Yes, I truly believe I have that much sway over some of your decisions.) I was wrong and if I could give you some money from my wallet to make up for it, I would. Unfortunately, my wallet money is reserved for things like penny candies and Metal Gear Solid 4 at the moment.

So back to this week's recommendation. I'm assuming few of my readers are desperate housewives, so lets skip over Sex and the City, shall we? Also, The Strangers looks like some scary movie goodness done right, but given the recent trend of poop in that particular genre, I'm still too wary to tell anyone to blindly go out and experience any of it.

That brings us to the DVD release of Rambo. Imagine the awesomeness of the above picture going on for about two hours straight. Yeah. Pretty crazy, right? Anyway, go see it.

Elite XC Saturday Night Fights

I'm not going to pretend I know all that much about the sport of MMA.

Sure, I started watching when the first Ultimate Fighter hit VHS back in the day and have been watching ever since, but my mind isn't "sports oriented" enough to keep track of everything under the MMA sun.

Like many casual fans, my knowledge of MMA is mostly isolated to what goes on within the UFC octagon. That's exactly why I'm so excited for the first primetime Elite XC event airing on CBS this Saturday at 9 p.m. ET/PT. I've watched countless fights in other leagues/promotions, but seldom do I get to watch a full card from anything not commentated by Joe Rogan and The Amazing Leaning Man.

I know enough about Kimbo Slice and James Thompson to guess this week's main bout is going to be more show than tell, but I'm genuinely excited to see what the remaining eight fighters have to show for mixed martial arts outside of the house that Dana thinks he built.

As an added bonus, I get to watch Gina Carano, a.k.a. Crush to you Gladiator fans, step down from the Joust podium and show us what she's really made of. I'm nervous the driven Kaitlin Young is going to break her gorgeous face, but here's hoping Carano puts up a decent performance despite the distractions and two-week training window.

Do yourselves and the sport a favor and check out the Elite XC fights this weekend. It's perfectly free and almost guaranteed to be worth your time.

Monday mini-movies: Pork and Beans edition

Weezer's new album comes out next week and, if the first single "Pork and Beans" is any indication, it's shaping up quite nicely.

Above is the video for this new single. It relates to internet videos because the director, quite ingeniously I might add, incorporates many-a internet phenomenon.

I absolutely love this video, and I'm pretty sure you, my attractive readers, are going to as well.

Off course: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull review

So I got out to see Indiana Jones this weekend...That was a mistake.

I should have known I was in for a letdown when the movie opened on a CG prairie dog nearly getting ran over by a car. Lucas and Spielberg claimed they were going to use as little CG as possible and rely on old school filming techniques to capture the feel of the original trilogy. The next scene is a sweeping shot of an Air Force base and, wouldn't you know it, everything but one building was built in a computer.

At what point does it make sense to CG a location like that? There's hundreds of such bases across the globe readily available for a weekend shoot. It was one scene for crying out loud. Have we really gotten so reliant on faking it we're worried hangers and warehouses won't look HD enough in real life?

Sorry to get stuck on something so silly, but man did it piss me off.

The majority of the movie is decent at best. None of the character are all that great, but things move at a good enough pace to help you overlook the flaws. Some of it is even decently entertaining...Until about two-thirds in, that is.

When the gang enters the jungle, the movie is straight downhill from there. The ridiculousness is further punctuated by a BS Tarzan scene that literally made me groan out loud and the conclusion is one of the worst imaginable. I'm pretty sure it was the result of a dare. A very mean-spirited, alcohol related dare.

I like the old Indiana flicks because, while over the top, they still seemed somewhat grounded and believable. As for the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, well, it's not a trip I plan to take a second time.

Quick break

I'm going to be strapped for time this week, so this will be the only update until next Monday, at which time we'll be back in the full swing of things.

So, to summarize, go see Indiana Jones this weekend and enjoy the random video embedded below. It's a well done mesh-up of Sponge Bob and an anime called Death Note. I'm amazed at how well the scenes match up from the two shows.

Hope you like reading. Otherwise, why are you even here?

Movie of da week- The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

*prepares flameshield*
I wasn't that impressed with the first Narnia movie.
*cowers behind shield*

Okay, now that that's out of the way I will say -of what I remember of it- it was a decent little fantasy flick. Maybe I was having a bad day or maybe I had recently seen something which made The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe pale in comparison, but I do distinctly recall leaving the theater and thinking I was somehow expecting so much more than what I got.

Maybe I just need to see it again. OR! Maybe it really was just a mediocre movie and I should get on with this post.

Sounds like a plan.

So, just because I wasn't wowed by round one doesn't mean I can't look forward to a hopefully improved round two; especially since there's little else out on DVD or the silver screen worth my attention this week.

That being said, go see Prince Caspian and let me know what you think. With any luck, I'll be taking it in this weekend as well.

Monday mini-movies: Human slingshot edition

I have found a new life goal.

Anyone interested in helping me set this up, feel free to comment. I'm perfectly comfortable with being the test pilot on this one.

Solid gold; Iron Man review

Okay, I'm going to keep this one brief since I'm sure all the reviews are getting old and, to be honest, I have several more coming up. Yay opinionated opinions!

I saw Iron Man opening night, so now you should have an idea for how badly I let myself procrastinate sometimes.

Here's what you need to know: the movie rocks. Put it right up there with the first X-Men and Spiderman movies as well as Batman Begins.

Iron Man is amazingly acted (Downey Jr. lives the role rather than acts it) and director Jon Favreau has lovingly crafted, not only one of the best super hero movies of all time, but one of the best action flicks I've seen in quite a wile.

The writing is top-notch (probably the best script for the genre) and the story is believable and relevant.

If those quick snippets of what I could go on for hours about aren't enough to sell you on shelling out ten bucks on a terrific theater experience, I hope you'll find something more up your ally. I hear Made of Honor has a few billion open seats available.

Metal Gear Online Beta concludes

Alright! One-hundred posts and counting.

Now that that's out of the way, I'll let you know Echo is a sad panda.

Last night, at midnight, the Metal Gear Online Beta concluded after a mere two weeks of teasing testers with gorgeous graphics and inventive gameplay only to snatch it away for a month's wait until the final release.

For those who didn't get to take part in the beta, I'm sure you've got plenty of questions. Let's see if I can answer some of those.

First of all, if the graphics in the online portion speak for the enhanced single player experience, your peepers are in for a real treat with Metal Gear Solid 4 proper. The game is flat out beautiful.

As for how it plays, along with the ability to link-up with teammates, hack opponents and use other creative game mechanics like the cardboard box and CQC, MGO has a lot to offer fans of third and first-person shooters alike. If you don't go in looking for the next Call of Duty 4 or Halo, but rather a tactical, slower paced, more team-oriented experience, everything here should leave you in a state of utter delight.

From the three maps and five or so game modes available in the Beta, I can safely say MGO will offer something new- perhaps its best selling point of all.

Weapons are varied and work well except for a few flaws which can hopefully be fixed by the time the final game hits shelves. For one, aiming is not as precise as it should be. While auto-aim offers a nice alternative for newer players or close-quarters confrontations, the over the shoulder and first person views aren't quite right. I line up the site perfectly with an opponents head and, quite often, the shots land mid-body. Many have learned tricks around this inaccuracy, landing headshots in rapid succession, but I'd take proper aiming over easy kills any day.

Aside from that, I can't really fault MGO in the beta form for much. Some complain movement is too slow, but it feels right for a more realistic shooter. Also, if you up the "run" ability and switch to a lighter weapon, your character will move at a pace plenty fast for any shooter.

The now famous man cannon is a cool way of getting from point A to point B with a quickness and the varied skills not only encourage working as a unit, but add an RPG-esque degree of customization where every soldier is truly unique.

Of course there will be at least one run-and-gunner for every tactical player wishing to experience the game the way it's meant to be played, but it shouldn't take long to find and recruit like-minded friends willing to compete with sneaky-sneaky in mind.

Overall, I can't wait for June to get here. I'll play the storyline first, obviously, but I expect MGO to take up months of my life following.

Movie of da week: Speed Racer

Okay, this week's a bit of a tough pick. While the rest of May is full of flicks worthy of your time and attention, this week's movie is a true gamble.

I'm talking about Speed Racer. When I first heard of the live action adaptation, I was annoyed. I hated the cartoon so, naturally, I should hate the movie.

Then I heard the Wachowski brothers were handling the adaptation. My interest was piqued. Finally, I saw the trailer and the full cast and, to be honest, I'm actually looking forward to seeing it at this point.

So far Speed Racer looks like what would happen if a group of ninjas melted a box of crayons onto the floor and played with some sweet Hot Wheels cars across the freshly cooled surface of the multi-colored muck. So long as Speed Racer doesn't ACTUALLY come off as lame as that, I figure it's worth a go.