Movie of the week: X-Men Origins- Wolverine

What has two thumbs and a borderline creepy affection for all things related to the goofy-haired, adamantium-laced-claw-wielding hero known as Wolverine?

This guuuuuuuy.

Nature fans are going to be so pissed this weekend when they go in expecting the sequel to March of the Penguins and instead get a heaping helping of ass-kickery courtesy of one James Howlett.

Old Guy: It says here that it's a story of love, brotherhood, betrayal and revenge.

Old Lady: Oooooh. That sounds swell! I had no idea wolverines live such complex lives.

Old Guy: It looks like that Hughie Jackman fellow narrates.

Old Lady: He's such a hunk. Let's bring the grandkids. It's sure to be an educational treat.

Let's get one thing straight here: Wolverine is not the next Iron Man or Dark Knight. Hell, it's probably not even the next Spider-Man. I'm going in expecting a lot of action, fun/cheesy dialogue and lots of extra holes being added to lots of bad guys.

I don't even care if they butcher the origin story. It's a movie for crying out loud. An action movie that's, technically, the fourth in a series. So long as they don't pull too many punches (and it's better than the abysmal X3), I'm ready to be entertained. Bring on the summer fun!

LOLOMFGROFLBS

I've been noticing a problem getting increasingly worse for the past several months, so I feel its time somebody say something about it.

I'm no fuddy-duddy, but considering how 90 percent of today's youth are butchering the English language, I've often found myself shaking my fist in the air while yelling, "Damn kids."

Now I'm not too far removed from the "youth" of today, but my generation occured just before the wide-spread use of computers, cell phones, fizzy pop and goofballs. (I think I'm going to use fizzy pop and goofball references wherever possible in future posts.)

I appreciate the evolution of a language. However, I think there's a time and a place for it. If you wanna say "wanna," or "I'm tired of this shizz. Y'know what I mean?" or perhaps "I'm a student, irl" or even "Octomom ftw!" online or in text conversations, I'm fine with that. Blogs, texts and the interwebs are appropriate places for words like "interwebs" or "rofl." Made up words and abbreviations that are a part of a generation's dialogue are dandy in these cases.

Now, most would assume I'm going to go on a rant about how some kids these days are using such "words" in school work or elsewhere in the real world. I'm not going to rant on that because I'd never shut my mouth about it. In short, if I were a teacher and a student turned in a test with "IDK" for an answer to a question, I'd rip up the test and ask them to retake the whole damn thing. Maybe that's a bit extreme, but the line has to be drawn somewhere.

No, my gripe today is not with Generation ?'s use of such things in inappropriate places. My gripe is primarily with the fact it's gotten so bad, even the people who use the stuff aren't using it correctly.

You know that guy who tells you "There seems to be a stigmata attached to artists these days where everyone assumes they're half-crazy?" You know how something like that makes you want to scream? (Note: If you don't know what the fuss is about, I'm saddened for whichever facility claims responsibility for your education.)

Well, crap like that is happening in the blogosphere, on posts and in message boards quite a bit these days.

Just today I read a post that stated "OMG my God. Can you guys believe that?" But that's not what's been bothering me the most lately. No. What I've seen at least a dozen times a week is the use of "lol" in the most unnecessary places.

It's not a damn period, people. Nor is everything you say funny. So what gives with using it so often?

Example: "Yeah, I'm looking forward to this game. I might pick it up later today. LOL."

Another example: "Who here is going to see this movie? LOL. I know I am."

And another one: "I thought their fourth album was the worst. LOL. But hey, that's just my opinion, imho."

When you type "lol," ask yourself, if you were talking out loud, would you actually laugh where you put that "lol?" If the answer is no, remove it. It's for attaching to the end of jokes or responding to something funny. I just don't get why it's being used 80 percent of the time I see it these days.

These people are driving me insane. You want to know why my teacher-tearing-up-a-test scenario is not extreme? Because this has proven if we as a society give an inch, the artards are going to take a mile. If you're going to say something, even if it is "made up," you better damn well know what it means and how to use it. The ignorance is baffling.

LOL

Monday mini-movies: Tuesday Power Glove edition

Aaaaah behold. False advertising at its finest.

I actually remember seeing this commercial when it aired on TV.

You know what else I remember? The Power Glove not doing one damn thing shown on that commercial! I'd be angry all over again if it wasn't for the nostalgia kick I'm on.

Do yourself a favor and go youtubing for commercials shown around the time you were a kid. Brings back a lot of memories...Also makes you wonder why you spent so much time in front of a TV as a kid.

UFC 97: Echo calls it

Well, UFC 97 is here and that means I have some predicting to do.

*puts on prediction cap which looks oddly similar to a beer helmet*

This time around we're going to be looking at just the main card. Nothing against you undercardlings. I just don't like any of you.

For this month's batch of predictions, I'm going to lean far too heavily on the combatants' names. So here we go.

Steve Cantwell vs. Luiz Cane: This one is an easy call for me. Steve has the word "can't" in his name. If that's not pessimism, I don't know what is. And look at Luiz! The guy's name is "Cane." That sounds both Bucolically evil and tortuously threatening. Congratulations Cane, you're gonna win this one.

Cheick Kongo vs. Antoni Hardonk: Hardonk sounds like a noise your car makes when it's breaking down. Kongo, however, is a cleverly misspelled name for an actual jungle that's equal parts beautiful and deadly; a perfect description of Cheick himself. Kongo will be king of the jungle in this bout.

Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Brian Stann: Let's see. On the one hand, we have a name with three Zs in it and no humanly possible way of ever pronouncing it, drunk or sober. On the other hand, we have Brian Stann. What's the matter, Stann? Was John Smith already taken? Get back in the gym you unimaginative bastard. Zozzynzki is taking this one by storm.

Chuck Liddell vs. Mauricia Rua: I find it odd that Chuck and Rua are fighting together since, if I were to chuck something particularly heavy, "rua" sounds a lot like the noise I would make. All of that aside, I'm going with Lidell because, if I don't, a certain someone I know will literally punch me in the face. Go git em Ice Man.

Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites: This is another tough one since Leites sounds an awful lot like 1337, or leet for you noobz, and that's pretty awesome. Thales' name has the edge, but I don't honestly think Silva can be beat. I'm conveniently ignoring my own rules on this one and saying Silva will once again prove he's one of the best fighters now or ever.

Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire: Watch it.

Being such a big fan of various forms of entertainment, the one shiny thing I often allow myself to overlook is television. What with all the video console games and funny books I have stacked up and waiting for my attention, the boob tube takes a back seat when it comes to what precious little free time I have.

Don't get me wrong. I love a good television show as much as the next guy. I just don't want my life to revert back to those days when I knew what day of the week it was based on what must-see set of shows I had written in stone upon my calendar for that evening.

That being said, I think I'll be clearing 30 minutes of my Thursday nights for a while to see where the new Comedy Central show Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire will take me.

I tuned in for the hour-long premiere last week and found myself chuckling through the whole damn show. It was as humorous as the title is redundant.

Sure, some of the gags are a miss and the homophobia dances between good-natured and annoyingly fratish, but the vast majority of Krod was a huge breath of fresh air.

Giving a great big middle finger to the likes of Legend of the Seeker, which can take itself a bit too seriously, Krod comes off as a mix between the classic Hercules series and something Monty Python might cook up. The humor is a sweet mix of American and British and it works surprisingly well.

The story is torn straight from every epic fantasy adventure ever written, but there's a clever heart beating under the surface, taking stereotypes and turning them on their side in order to draw genuine laughs. The characters, too, are tops. From their witty dialogue to their great facial expressions, all have something unique to offer and all are fun to watch.

If you get a chance, check it out Thursday nights at 10 p.m. And be sure to let me know what you think. I'm curious to see how many people are watching.

Idiots and Capcom ftl

Seriously, this stuff has got to stop.
Echoing gripes of the past, two of the latest videogame debacles have once again upset me to the point of needing to write about it. You lucky, lucky readers.

First we have this guy from Japan throwing a hissy fit on youtube over a game losing its exclusivity.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, unless a game is being developed first party, it’s likely going to be ported somewhere down the line.

Tales of Vesperia came out about six months ago “exclusively” for the Xbox 360. I put it in quotes because the game was originally reported as being developed multiplatform, then mysteriously became a one party pony. That alone should have been clue enough for people to know something was up. But I digress.

So this must-have game comes out in Japan and the 360 becomes an overnight sellout in the country. Bravo. Microsoft figured out what the market wanted and the consumers responded.
The problem with many of the people who bought the game, though, is that they also bought the 360 JUST FOR THAT GAME.

One of these tools, it turns out, has a mild case of the crazy. When he found out *gasp* an enhanced port of the game was coming out to the PS3, he went on a rampage, recording himself breaking his TOV disc and burning the magazine article announcing the new version of the game. (Good idea. Now you really wasted your $60.)

Part of me understands where the anger is coming from. Shady practices by all three of the big companies are ruining the gaming industry these days. Claiming a game’s exclusivity for a system people don’t have, thereby getting many of them to go out and pay $300 to get said system, and then announcing an “improved” version of the game for another system they already had in the first place is a lousy way to make a buck. So, yes, you can feel a bit cheated in that regard.

But aren’t these people the ones who were willing to fork over all that dough for a single title? It’s a bummer, yes. But maybe they learned their lesson.

I eagerly await Metal Gear Solid 4 being announced for the 360. I’m fairly certain heads will literally explode. These people are just sad.

On a slightly different note, I’m putting Capcom on my warning list. One more money-grubbing, BS move out of these guys and I’m ready to boycott the company altogether.

First there was Mega Man 9. The game is like $10 and fun as hell. Good stuff. What’s that you say? Add-on content is coming out for the game and, all told, it’ll cost more than the game itself if I want to get it all? What amazing content could this possibly be? The answer was a harder difficulty, one extra level, a boss rush mode, and a new playable character. That’s right, they wanted to charge you for crap that’s been standard since an 8-bit game wasn’t a nostalgia kick.

So a little time passes and Street Fighter IV comes out. Good stuff. What’s that you say? More add-on content? What would you like to spend my money on now, Capcom? Extra costumes for my characters…Are you serious?

Now here comes the latest BS. Capcom has now released their add-on content for Resident Evil 5 and it’s not even proper “add-on” content. For a mere $5, you too can unlock content that’s already on the disc.

Not only did Capcom come out and claim gamers had already received plenty of bang for their sixty bucks with the game proper, but they went so far as to say their add-on content is developed separately under a separate budget, and whining about not getting it on the disc was childish.

While hard to believe, I was willing to accept that answer even though I still thought charging $5 for content that should have been included in the first place was a disservice to the consumer. Especially since it was releasing mere weeks after the actual game came out.

Now that the update is out and we find out it weighs in at just 2MB, the bomb has officially hit. Gamer’s aren’t paying a premium price for added content designed separate of the game, they are paying $5 to un-freaking-lock content that’s already on the disc they paid more than half a C-note to enjoy.

Way to spit in the face of people who support your product and pay for your kids’ educations, Capcom.

This nickel and diming crap has gone too far and it will continue until we as a whole stop supporting it. Give your dollars to companies that earn it and stop rolling over simply because the big shots demand it. Their one solid argument is “You don’t have to buy it if you don’t want to.” They’re absolutely right. Now let’s show them how much we don’t want any of it if this is how they’re going to do business.

Monday mini-movie(s): Hockey fight edition

So I was lurking on the youtubes, beginning my search with "crazy stunt," and thirty minutes of following random links later, I was watching hockey fights. There's just got to be a Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon game in there somewhere. I know it.

Anyway, these two yay-hoos got a giggle out of me. Watch the video to find out why.



For those unfamiliar with the sport of face-wrecking, here's how the above wuss-fest could have played out.

Movies to miss in April

Am I alone in thinking Vin Diesel is a badass? Even though I dig his work, I can't expect the rest of the population to feel the same way, especially when the vast majority of his work is pretty terrible. I call it good-bad. Most others just call it bad-bad. We'll agree to disagree.

Anyway, here is the list of movies to shy away from this month. Only a few titles add up to quite a bit of "bad" in April.

Fast and Furious- Not only does Diesel have a new game coming out this month in the form of The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena, but he also has a movie coming out. What's the difference? The game is probably going to be great. Four Fast Four Furious, or F4 as I like to call it, is gonna be poop.

Hannah Montana: The Movie- What's likely going to be worse than Hannah Montana: The Movie? Hows about Hannah Montana: The Movie: The Game. It exists, folks.

Dragonball Evolution: The day the Japanese make a crappy adaptation of G.I. Joe with one of their own actors in the lead role is the day I'll get over this Dragonball movie existing. I was one of those sad pups who made sure thirty minutes of every afternoon was spent in front of the TV watching Goku charge up his powers for five straight episodes. I loved this series and, big surprise, Hollywood is primed to crap all over it.

17 Again- Go back to singing in high school, you tool.

Well, there you have it. And for those looking to rent, remember to scoff at The Day the Earth Stood Still and The Spirit.


That will be all.

Games to get in April

For those wondering what happened to Twilight Thursdays, I eventually came to my senses after recalling the words of a very wise man. I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who once said, "F$%# Twilight."

Moving on.

April is here and with it comes the "new" Nintendo handheld, the DSI. That's right, the Big N has found yet another way to slightly tweak one of their existing systems in order to rake in piles and piles of money. Other than that, there are a few games this month you might want to look into.

April

5th- Warioware Snapped (DSI)

7th- The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena (PS3, 360)

7th- The God Father 2 (360, PS3)

28th- Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce (PSP)

I'm recommending Warioware based solely on the franchise's pedigree. All Warioware games before this DSI iteration have been more or less great, so I'm hoping the new title will live up to its older siblings.

The God Father 2 blends GTA style antics with full-city crime management similar to a strategy based RPG. Plus, the story revolves around the GF universe. Can't really go wrong with that combination.

For anyone who missed The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay on the original XBox, now is your chance to enjoy this hidden gen all over again in HD. Not only that, but you get an online component AND a completely new chapter in the Riddick universe, Dark Athena. This will likely be one of the best values to hit shelves this year and, if the rest of the game is as good as Butcher Bay, a tremendous bang for your buck as well.

staticEchoes: A new era begins

This should be a happy day for many readers of staticEchoes.com.

I’ve received countless e-mails asking why we have never had anything to say about the Twilight phenomenon that’s sweeping the globe.

So many, in fact, I’ve decided to shift the focus of the site quite a bit.

Introducing “Twilight Thursdays.” Beginning tomorrow, there will be a weekly update on all things Twilight.
From reviews of the fantastic books to discussions on the incredible movie series, staticEchoes.com will be your one stop destination for all things that sparkle.

Expect stories ranging from celebrity gossip about the author and film stars to in-depth looks at the real-life history of vampires and their progression from the dark and disturbing creatures of old to the hunky hearth throbs of modern tales.

I hope everyone is as excited as I am about the Twilighty possibilities. It’s taken a while to get SE on the bandwagon, but we’re coming aboard in a big way.