Movies to miss in August

There’s really not much to talk about in the land of movies this month. Next to nothing is hitting the silver screen and even less is coming out on DVD. Despite that, I’m still going to razz on a couple pictures because, well, I can.

Step Up 3D
And the award for most useless implementation of 3D technology goes to…With a movie series like Step Up, whether or not the 3D is going to be used as a gimmick isn’t really worth debating. I’m not sure what to expect from this one. Are folks going to be dancing off the screen at me? Are we going to be pelted by pretend flying sweat and tossed hair? I’m dying to find out how many people are willing to pay the premium 3D price to see this crap opening weekend. I have a sneaking suspicion the answer will be more depressing than the end of Old Yeller, but maybe folks will take this opportunity to renew my faith in mankind by letting it flop like a landed trout

Vampires Suck
If anything deserves to take some flak these days, it’s Twilight and the millions of horrible vampire books, movies, TV shows and comics that have popped up in its wake. However, is it worse to be the pile of crap, or the person who is going to make money by leeching off the pile of crap while simultaneously reprimanding it? You be the judge. As for me, I’m coining the phrase “a royal circle-suck,” to describe such situations.