Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Movies to miss in January

While the first month of the New Year brings with it a nice selection of decent movie-going options—Daybreakers, Legion, The Book of Eli, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus—there’s also a few bad apples in the mix I’d suggest folks just steer clear of.

Leap Year- A woman’s boyfriend won’t propose, so what does she do? She books a flight to Ireland where she aims to hunt him down and propose to him herself. Irish tradition has it that if a woman asks for your hand in marriage on the day a leap year begins, you can’t say no. She gets lost along the way, however, and has to rely on a rugged, good looking lad to help her find her way around the Emerald Isle. Golly, I wonder if she’ll have a change of heart and propose to this new guy instead.

Crazy on the Outside- Tim Allen tries to break into a more adult role with this comedy (?) about a guy fresh out of prison and forced to live with his sister and her crazy family. If he attempted to super-charge a lawnmower while grunting in a manly fashion somewhere in this film, I might be down. Otherwise, I’m fairly certain we’re eyeing a pile of poop here.

The Spy Next Door- Dammit, Jackie Chan. Dammit all to hell.

Tooth Fairy- The damning goes doubly for you, The Rock. Please end your contract with Disney and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get another shot at some decent roles.

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