Monday mini-movies: Ninja edition

I think it's safe to say, unless you are a pirate, robot, zombie or monkey, everybody loves ninjas.

I know I do.

And so, ninja-loving masses, I present to you some legitimate footage of a real life ninja doing what ninjas do best...Ninjaing stuff.

Aaaaand we're back

That's right, bitches. Ya'll just got lolcat-ed. Why? Because staticEchoes is back up and running and, well, those lolcats are cute as hell.

Woohoo!

I'm going to be completely honest here. Everything was fixed and dandy about a week ago, but I took the extra time to play videogames, watch movies and generally enjoy a bit more free time...in my underwear.

For those who feel cheated, I'll refund your site membership, no questions asked, and do my best to erase that mental image you now have of some blogger lying around in his underwear.

Now, though, it's back to business. Expect the mini-movie up shortly and more to come throughout the week.

Thanks to everyone for holding tight.

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The official blogging computer is down at the moment, so this is being written to you from a secret location that is by no means where I work and should not be spending time with personal stuff like blogging.

That being the case, we'll be back up and running as soon as possible, but there is definately going to be a no-post period to suffer through. We'll do our best to keep it short.

Go see Pineapple Express this weekend and always remember: be excellent to each other.

Games to get in August

For me, August and September are stacking up nicely against the ole wallet. With the exception of downloadable games like Siren- Blood Curse, Bionic Commando- Rearmed, Ratchet and Clank- Quest for Booty and Castle Crashers, I have little to be excited for on the retail game front.

Just because my tastes aren’t satisfied, though, doesn’t mean I don’t recognize a quality title for bigger fans of the genre than myself. Here’s the list of games to get for this month.

August
12th- Madden ’09 (Every console imaginable)
26th- Disgaea 3- Absence of Justice (PS3)
26th-Tiger Woods PGA Tour ’09 (PS3, Wii, 360)
26th- Tales of Vesperia (360)
31th- Mercenaries 2- World in Flames (PS3, 360)

I have a hard time sinking sixty bucks into a sports game, especially when said sports game will drop in price by 95 percent once next year’s iteration comes out, so you guys go right ahead and enjoy the Madden and Woods goodness. XBox continues its quest to draw a wider fanbase with another RPG offering in Tales of Vesperia, and Mercenaries 2 should be every bit as fun as the original.

Not much to offer on the Nintendo front, and I’m guessing that has something to do with Fishez and Generic Wii Mini-game Collection Volume 15 taking up all the shelf space.

There’s a Harvest Moon duo late in the month for the Wii and DS and Mario Super Sluggers for the Wii as well, but I’m too wary to recommend either until I’ve seen more to make me believe these titles have something worthwhile to offer. At this point, simply waggling the Wii-mote isn’t enough. (More to come in a future Nintendo shovelware rant.)

Movies to miss in August

Hope your back ain’t sore cause there’s a whole lot of “suck” to shoulder in August.

Whether you’re heading out or renting, several movies will try to slyly steal your dollars away from anything resembling quality. Avoid the following at all costs:

The Mummy- Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: Common sequel law dictates this one’s going to be a stinker. The second Mummy flick was bad enough. I somehow doubt they magically got better.

The Longshots: My how the mighty have fallen, Ice Cube. Weren’t your last couple-a family friendly flicks big enough bombs to get the message across? No? Great. Thanks for another waste of film.

The House Bunny: Most other movies on this list pale in comparison to The House Bunny. The trailer made me want to gouge out my eyes and ears, so I’m curious as to who, exactly, was self-hating enough to green light this project.

Disaster Movie: Why are these still being made? I need to start a petition.

The Scorpion King 2- Rise of the Warrior: You MMA fans finally get to see Randy Couture in a movie. The bad news? It’s a straight to DVD sequel of one of my most hated films of all time. Yay!

Also on DVD: Rather than re-bitch about these lamefests, I’ll just list them so you don’t make the mistake of renting. Stay away from Prom Night, What Happens in Vegas and Postal.

There you go. Some of the worst cinema of the year crammed into a single month. Hooray for Hollywood!

Monday mini-movies: Worst. Fight. Ever.

On a whim, I typed in the words "worst video ever" on youtube and stumbled upon this little jewel.

Taken from the original Star Trek series, join Captain Kirk as he fights (???) a terrifying lizard monster.

The clip's title does not exaggerate. This is easily the worst fight sequence ever recorded.