Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Movies to miss in February

There aren’t a lot of movies hitting the silver screen this month, leaving plenty of extra time for folks to go outside and—who am I kidding? We’re all doomed without our moving pictures. Doomed!

The nice thing about fewer movies dropping? Fewer terrible movies to avoid. It’s a short list for February, but that doesn’t make these movies any less unimportant.

From Paris with Love: Seeing John Travolta trying to be a young, cool, violent action star is about as entertaining as seeing Sandra Bullock playing a ditzy 20-something in films like All About Steve. This looks worse than xXx, and that’s saying something.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians- The Lightning Thief: I’m prematurely panning this film for two less-than-relevant reasons. Number one, the title is too freaking long. There, I said it. Number two, I’ve had to sit through watching the kid who plays Percy Jackson doing interviews before every movie at the theaters for the past two months and holy crap is he arrogant. You’re playing the son of Poseidon, kid. You’re not actually Percy Jackson and therefore have no right to be such a tool. This might actually be a decent fantasy film (not likely, but possible), but I’ll never know because I can’t stomach the thought of watching this guy for more than five minutes. I hope your franchise dies a quick death, Percy. *shakes fist at the sky*


peskypepper said...

*sniff* i'm still going to see Percy Jackson. It's Greek Night; i'm gonna eat a gyro and strike people down with lightning. Isn't that what everyone does for Greek Night?

-Echo said...

I prefer to get drunk and impregnate mortals, but that's the Zeus in me talkin'.